A Girl's Secret Conscience...

Just as you think everything is perfect and you have plans to get engaged… Your world has to break apart like the he isn’t happy to see you smiling…

Currently sitting alone in westfields contemplating about my relationship…. Are we really just holding onto nothing??

Our plans to get engaged are now so far away as he puts any effort into any part of the relationship… He would steal money from our account to buy his addictions.. Yet he wont save a cent to buy me a cheap ring… Why?? He said he never thought he needed to spend a cent for this engagement since hes forced to go through with it simply to get me to move out…

He found $50 yesterday and instead of saving it he spent every bit of it for his lunch and he decide to dye with hair along with his haircut…

Had my wisdom tooth taken out yesterday… Suffering excruciating pain at the moment… Not only has he not asked how I am or am I ok?? He’s getting angry because I’m frustrated by my swollen right face!!

He texts me saying he’s always hurt, I’m always unhappy giving trouble.. Making everything miserable for him… However all I’ve ever done was to try help him get through his problems, fix him up…

His excuse for avoiding my problems?? “I have my own problems too!!” and yes this is why I’m trying to help you.. Shouldn’t we be doing that for each other?? Helping each other out?? So why am I the only one shoving my problems aside and focusing purely on yours??

And why do you put our relationship on the line?? Text: “Come back now or our relationship is down the drain”

(Nothing emo.. Just an insight to problematic relationships)

So much as happened, so much time has passed…

It’s like magic the way things change.. How feelings change~

Someone who you thought u loved becomes a stranger, yet the stranger you never knew a year ago has now become the most important person in your life!!

Even though I’m happily dating~ things have changed from the soft voice he only ever uses to the louder ones that occur when he never use to… Or the sweet little dates that take place now, to in home movies and sleeps…

It’s not that they’re not happy but it’s hit the comfortable stage.. Too comfortable… For him at least… I still wanna be living in our honeymoon where all the sparkles and bubbles are…

Other than “I love yous” now we have “you don’t love me”s =\ arguments surround our relationship, tear-soaked pillows as we sleep >< it’s horrifying and threatening.. Are we nearing the end or is this simply a stage…

Whatever it is…. To me, Us is everything, you are my dream and as long as at the end of the day or throughout an argument, in our hearts we know we still love each other then it is enough~

All I hope for is for you to always find a reason to smile….. And if you’re happy then my world is complete.

I love you Dee~

Forever and ever~

Always together 

It’s been a while since I’ve post~

The past few months, have been one of the most exciting, most fun and happiest time of my life~

Having to let go of him was a decision I should’ve made from the start~

I believe in fate~ having met the guy who opened me up to the truth in America, to developing feelings with him, and having to start a relationship with him~

( what are the chances of meeting him again when we have never met before disregarding the fact that we lived in the same area, hanged around the same places, and knew the same people?? These things couldn’t be forced when it comes it comes.. And nothing can stop fate from happening…)

He’s the sweetest bundle of joy, my everything at this moment, he shows me how I should be treated and I’m treated like a princess~

Smiles never fade between us and the beating of our hearts never fails to amaze me~ maybe this is how it’s meant to be, finding my one midst all my sorrows~

Getting to know him may of been hard and I’m still learning more about him, but everything new I learn just builds onto our relationship~

He’s worth all the obstacles, he’s worth any pain that comes in our way, because ii know he would probably do the same for me~

How can I be so sure he is the one?? I don’t, but the feeling I have for him.. The trust.. Everything.. Just tells me he is~

Dating for 111 days now~ and I’ve been the happiest girl alive~

After all this time, I dare to say… ii love him.

<3 be.